Writing at Broadgreen Primary School, Liverpool

Broadgreen Primary School, Liverpool.

‘Curious Minds’ author residence

Curious Minds delivers Creative Partnerships in the North West. I am taking part in an author residence at Broadgreen Primary School in Liverpool, working on a Heroes theme with Year 5 and 6. The residence is made up of several elements:

1. Writing fiction.

2. Writing poetry.

3. Writing non-fiction.

4. Using a visit to the city’s Williamson tunnels as a stimulus for story-telling. This will link in with my BBC story Tunnel Vision.

5. Conducting writing workshops with parents.

6. Drawing on the experiences of the local community.

7. Providing in-service training for teaching staff.

8. Using ICT to provide an audience for the children’s and parents’ writing.

Fiction

Part of the project is to write a longer fiction narrative. We started by writing story openings to a fantasy story which would be continued over several lessons, examining the skills needed to write each episode. We planned to look at several classic fantasy scenes:

1. The opening. The attack of the demons. The wizard who rescues the hero.

2. The gathering of the fellowship. Who will accompany the hero and the wizard on their quest to discover the hero’s past and destiny.

3. The journey through monster-infested tunnels.

4. Continuing the quest. The temptation of the hero.

5. The final battle between good and evil.

6. The resolution

Here are two examples of the opening or exposition:

The moon lights the sky

By Owen

Do you believe in demons and monsters of the night? Aritou didn’t, but then everything changed….

Aritou started to hear a sound like hammers hitting swords in the distance. There were bloodthirsty cries saying: “Get him!”

Over the snowy hills came black dots pointing in a deadly manner. Their cloaks whispered through mid air. Immediately they used their dark powers to hurl fireballs at Aritou. He felt powerless. What could he do?

Shaking like a leaf, Aritou looked through the windows. Flesh eating eyes stared at him.

Aritou ran for his life but the riders were destroying everything they touched. They found him hiding behind an oak tree. They thought they had him then Zap! There it was, a dragon scaring the riders away. A wizard appeared. His cloak was crystal white. His hat was as white as the moon. His weapons were topaz and his beard was brighter than a torch. In his hand he had a ball of lightning. He zapped it right in front of them. The riders fled.

The wizard turned to Aritou and said: “Greetings. I’m Gronnadalf.”


The Emerald Wand

By India

That was the night the riders came and Allana’s life changed forever. She could hear the horses , their feet stamping on the ground. The riders were yelling terrifying words. The shining moon lit the dark sky. The riders barged through the misty field. Their cloaks waved like the sea crashing together on a stormy night.

Suddenly they each pulled out a sword ready to kill. A shiver crept up Allana’s spine. Why did they want from her? Her heart beat like a thousand hearts together. She peeked through a hole in the fence. The red eyes of the riders stared right into hers and aimed their swords, screaming: “Kill!”

The demons rushed at her. Allana hid behind an oak tree. The demons slashed through it and the tree fell to the ground. Allana tried to run. The demons were too fast. She felt as if she was glued to the ground. She screamed in terror, hiding from the demons’ faces behind her innocent hands. She tried to run, but the cold mud made her move slowly. She screamed. She looked at them. She knew she was going to die.

That’s when the rescuer appeared riding on a dragon. He was a tall man with blue eyes. He had a white beard. His cloak was scarlet with golden stars. On his head he wore a scarlet, conical hat. His long, white hair flew in the mid air with a little plait hanging at the back. His cloak fell to his ankles. His black laced-up boots were tough and finely polished. In his hands he held an emerald wand.

The wizard dragged her onto the dragon’s back. With a tap of his wand, he flew into the air.

“Greetings,” the wizard exclaimed. “I’m Edward.”

The next skill we examined was ‘moving the narrative camera.’ In the opening we as readers were looking over the shoulder of our main protagonist or hero. Now we are watching them from a distance, following the approach of one of the Dark Riders. Here are two short examples:

As Nic and Wally slumbered something stirred. The form started to stalk the sleeping boy and wizard.

The demon stood about one and a half yards in height. His cloak hung like a black, fluttering crow. He drew his long, razor-sharp, spiked spear. the point pressed against Wally’s throat….

by Zoe, Class U2Mc

As Phill and Frenco slept something appeared from the shadows. He crept slowly towards the fire, slower, slower, stalking. The demon stood two and a half metres high. His cloak hung like naked fog. He drew his sword towards his target. the sword’s point rested on Phill’s stomach….

by Thomas M

Both pupils have built the tension very effectively to the cliff-hanger moment. Will the child and wizard survive? You will  have to read on.

The next thing we examined was introducing a new character. Here are some pieces of work from Class U2DV:

Demon attack

by Ben

So there lay Zac and Gotoh. Zack awoke to the feeling of a cold, evil sabre resting on his chest where his heart lay. His eyes snapped open with a terrifying shock as he gasped. Zack looked into the darkness and that is when the demon unveiled his hood. His eyes were pure obsidian. Upon his scalp was a dancing blaze. His rough tongue slithered out of his cracked teeth. His horns were as sharp as a rogue’s dagger. The stench which came from the demon’s mouth was the smell of his dead victims.

Then when it happened, from the darkness came an axe which chopped the demon’s skull, causing it to splinter.

By the light of Zack’s lantern he saw the warrior of the dark. He was a muscular dwarf wearing armour and a kilt. On his hands were gauntlets and he was equipped with a hatchet. He had long brown hair and a brown beard. At that moment Gotoh arose from a deep slumber and spoke. “Ah Dirk you saved me. I guess we’re even now.”

Demon attack

By Aisha

So there they lay. Hannah and Agara stirred. She felt the sword at her throat. Hannah woke, feeling the javelin point scratching her skin. Her eyes opened wide. Her skin crawled with fear. Her throat tightened. She gasped. The demon drew his hood back to unveil his face. His eyes were as black as the night sky. Flames leapt from his scalp.

His face was fleshless. His teeth were rotten like a mouldy cabbage. He had horns that let the fire lick out. His tongue was red. His breath was the stinkiest breath Hannah had ever smelt. It stank of human flesh.

That’s when it happened. An axe head swept out of the gloom and chopped off the creature’s foul skull. the face of the demon rolled onto the floor, blood splashing it.

By the light of the camp fire Hannah saw the newcomer. He was short. He had blonde hair and a blonde beard that reached to his waist. He was covered with armour and gripped a shiny-looking axe. He was a warrior-dwarf. His name was Thray. At that moment Agara stretched and laughed: “It’s you Thray. You’ve saved the day again.”

In the next section we meet the final member of the four who make up the Fellowship in search of the hero’s destiny.

Now we are four

by Korede

The porridge was bubbling in the steam. There was a spectacular aroma. They added strawberry and milk. They were planning their next brave adventure. Jerdo was playing his violin.

“Hey Jerdo, why were those creeps chasing after me?” Luke asked.

“The reason why the shadows were chasing you is because your’re a dragon rider,” Jerdo said.

“A dragon rider!”

“Yes, a dragon rider.”

They set off west. They crossed Darat Bridge and Spine Mountains, Mystic Gorge and the Forest of Darkness. They were by the Devils of Darkness and Razac. But they were not alone. The watcher was half human and half wolf, part forest troll and giant spider. The friends tried to kill it. Their swords didn’t hurt it. Their axes couldn’t break its armour. It was invincible. That’s when the Swamp Monster collapsed like a wall and slowly died with blood coming out of its mouth. The three friends stared. Who could have killed such a beast?

Then they saw her. Her hair was black like paint. Her armour was black and silver. Her sword was as sharp as a fang. Her shield was shiny.

Now we are four

by Charlotte

The porridge was bubbling in the pan and there was an outstandingly delicious scent. They added raisins and jam to it. Throll sat sharpening his axe with a wet stone. Eliza made her way to the stream and washed her face in clear, cold water.

“Please Edward,” she asked. “Why do the demons want to kill me?” Eliza said.

“It’s the ring. They know you’re the princess,” Edward explained.

They went down south. They crossed rivers deep and mountains high, vast plains and dark forests. There were dust storms. They were followed by fierce wolves and hungry bears. They were not alone.

They realised that somebody was behind them. They turned around and there was a blue, gooey, ugly monster. He was eight feet tall and his eyes were green. He looked at Eliza and the wizard as if they were food…

The wizard stuck a sword in its foot but it did not go through. They tried everything but they just could not hurt the monster.

That’s when the strangest thing happened. The creature gave an odd squeak and started to quiver. Smoke came from its ears. It began to drool. It collapsed in a heap.

As the beast fell to the floor you began to see a beautiful girl. She was wearing brown. She had a silver sword and a red shield. she stood on the beast and said: “My name is Emily.”

The next stage of our story was setting our four main characters a challenge. They believe they have escaped the dark riders, but they face an even greater peril, an army of dark riders. In this section we are examining how to manage a large cast of characters.

The demon army

by Karen

Sharleene, the warrior princess, withdrew her sword, cleared her throat and said: “Let’s survive this evil.”

No sooner had she spoken than there was the thunder of hard hooves. She saw the dark demon riders.

Sharleene braced herself, so did the Fellowship. In the blink of an eye she pulled her sharp sword from her scabbard. The wizard clicked his fingers and there was a magic staff. Natasha and Aragon exchanged looks and Aragon threw his small sword to Natasha.

Sharleene shouted: “Be careful and brace yourself.”

But it wasn’t the suspected seven riders, it was seven thousand dark figures and they were as far as the eye could see.

“What do we do?” asked Natasha.

“We run for our lives,” came the answer.

The demon army

by Kemal

Valecenia, the warrior princess, withdrew her fire sword, cleared her throat and said: “We will live till we destroy the evil of the Chaos Lord.”

While she was talking she was rudely interrupted by a roar of hooves that drowned her voice. The riders were back. Valecenia drew her fire sword out of the scabbard. Dumbie Dope produced a wand with his magic powers. Persedin drew his legendary sword of Animus. Sneevil pulled out his golden axe. They were all ready for what was coming towards them.

But it wasn’t eight riders. It was….eighty thousand riders. It was as if a volcano had spewed out thousands of chaos beasts. Persedin could hear a voice inside him singing: “Let’s start a riot, a riot. Let’s start a riot.”

“What do we do?” Persedin asked.

“Flee!” Dumbie Dope answered.

Up ahead there was the entry to the chaos dimension.

The young writers were then asked to write a flashback piece. Once inside the tunnels, the wizard character relates the past, revealing to the hero that they have a special destiny. Having established the basic narrative structure we now adopted a less prescriptive approach asking the students to tell the story of what happened over a decade earlier when the hero was a baby. They were encouraged to plan a ‘back story’ of their own. Here are four examples of the results.

(The authors’ names will be added on Monday).

Before the Dark Riders came

by Alicia

Having closed the bigoak door behind them, Bootomless, Gemma and Spongebob took a seat and began to listen to Bottomless’s story.

“Back in the day, Gemma lived with her parents. They were the King and Queen and Gemma was a princess. Gemma’s parents had an argument the night Gemma went missing. They were arguing over what to have for dinner. Gemma didn’t like the loud noise so she crawled out of her cot and sat on the balcony. She couldn’t see the moon so she crawled up the balcony and fell. Under the palace there was a beach. Gemma dropped in the water and floated away. That is how she disappeared.

The Kingdom was a lovely place, but then the Dark Riders came and destroyed the city. Maybe if it wasn’t for them Gemma would be back with her parents right now.

When Albion flourished

Ben R

Back in the day our land Albion was flourishing with life. Everyone had enough to eat and drink and the morning sun was amazing and bright. But all the nuclear weapons in the world exploded and annihilated the entire planet. Then demons from the Sixth Dimension opened a portal which led to Earth. The sky turned completely black as darkness reigned over the land of Albion.

Before the demons came

Erin

Before the dark demons came the world was a happy, peaceful, colourful place, but now it is dull. Many women don’t have husbands because they have died. The King was killed as Queen Charlotte was pregnant with a baby girl. Actually she had long, blonde hair and deep blue eyes a bit like you.

It all began at the King and Queen’s ball and the King was killed that night. Queen Charlotte’s baby was born and was sent to a far off country to be safe and protected. That baby grew up to be a very beautiful girl. The baby I am talking about was you, Kira. You’re Queen Charlotte’s baby.

That was your history. Now it’s your destiny.

Overwhelmed by the black spirits

Ryan

The great door slammed shut as Will began to tell Hob the truth about his mum and dad:

Before I knew it I was back in the past. I was in some kind of war. Blood was being spilt. There was a King. He was getting overwhelmed by the black spirits of the underworld. They were ripping people to shreds and slaying all the civilians of the land, raging with darkness. His body began to change. His eyes turned purple. His skin turned grey and he began to grow claws. He had sharp teeth as well.

The next stage of the project  was to use a school visit to  the  Williamson tunnels in Liverpool to stimulate the pupils’ imagination. This gave the boys and girls the chance to explore a location to give them ideas for the development of the narrative: the play of light and dark, the atmosphere of an enclosed space. They also watched Alan Gibbons’ BBC story Tunnel Vision, produced eleven years ago as part of the programme Writers’ Block. The author’s story was also set in the Williamson tunnels.

Tunnels of the Earth

by Faye

Down in the eerie darkness, the jet-black darkness, there wasn’t a firefly to be seen. A shiver of the darkness crept up their spines as a sign of fear.

Gillian led the way as Damian followed in her footsteps. Meanwhile the darkness crept up on them. Gillian felt that they were not alone.

Damian slowly walked along, holding up a flame torch, then he quickly turned to see red, hot eyes. He turned away and then back to look at them but they had disappeared….

Soon he heard pincers crunching and he saw the eyes staring, then a giant killer crab emerged out of the darkness with a demon riding it.

It tried to crush them. It smashed into the wall and the tunnel started to shudder. The killer crab had an idea…Gillian stood and stared as if it was familiar to her.

Its eyes were as she remembered them. they were yellow. The creature was black and orange. Its pincers were golden like a solid piece of gold.

Damian crouched ready to attack the demon with his fiery torch. He sliced his head off but it grew back. it did it again. It grew back once more, but then Damian had an idea. He sliced it off then he burned it. So it did not grow back and the crab’s eyes turned yellow and looked at Gillian.

The tunnels of death

by Steven

They scampered through the slimy, mouldy, inky, jet-black tunnels. It was as if the darkness was haunting them, blinking with its lava eyes. Tharn led the way with the lantern shivering, and Layla heard footsteps like zombies in the darkness. As they crept through the dark, damp tunnels he heard echoing snarls in the distance, through the walls.

Just up ahead they saw giant nails leaping from around the corner. The monster had a very hairy head, a man-like body and the legs of an ape. It had dragons’ feet. He had bluish eyes and sharp teeth like a lion. There was the sound of a shot through the ground.

Kyle crouched low and gripped his sword. Next to him Dontai stood holding his leather spell book and a staff with a leopard’s head. The beast swiped at the wizard and killed him.

Layla cried: “I will avenge you!”

So she stabbed the creature and wounded the monster. It retreated.

Tunnels beneath the world

by Lee

Down in the gloomy, slimy tunnels silhouettes slithered around them. As they crept forward the darkness’s red eyes emerged. They belonged to a strange creature. It was as if the darkness was running steely claws over the wall.

They crept forward, gripping their rush lights. Luke held up his lantern. They looked at the walls and saw shadows dancing. That’s when there was a low, throaty echoing around them. Somewhere close by a predator was springing through the shadows.

A massive shadow spread along the wall before them. The dwarf-king trembled with anticipation. then there it was. The dwarf had leather boots, a red cape and a sword that was bigger than him.

That’s when he heard a man screaming. The man was bleeding, then his body snapped open. Mysterious creatures came out and chased them.

Luke crouched low, a dagger gripped in his fist. Over to his right, Spartacus was wielding his mighty staff.

That’s when the creature smashed his cage up. They got their bows and arrows. They wounded the creature. It smashed the wizard Spartacus into the rock solid, crumbly wall. Luke turned to Spartacus.

Into the dark

by Rumbi

The sound began a few minutes into their journey.

Roxanne asked: “Have you heard that? My heart is pounding.”

“We’re not alone!” Kiara whimpered.

The blackness was as dark as a witch’s brew mixed with five kilos of coal!

As Kiara, Roxanne, Imogen and Finly tiptoed their way through the pitch black cave they heard creepy sounds like someone saying Kill, Kill, Kill.

Imogen took out four lanterns and let them all up with a flint so the four friends could find a place to set up camp for the night.

Kiara happened to brush the wall of the cave with her finger and felt a bone. She lifted her lantern towards the wall and saw blood and bones. A loud clattering sound was heard! She walked onwards and caught her foot in the jaw of a skull.

One class wrote poems in the form of incantations imagining that, in the tunnels, the hero discovers a clue to their destiny. Here are two examples:

Silence of Death by Daniel

Show me your palm, young child.

What will I see?

Reading the lines is easy for me.

See yourself in the din of battle.

Bones of your enemies they start to rattle.

Show me your palm, young child.

What will I see?

Reading the lines is easy for me.

Get ready to walk into the battle of Hell.

Stand proud and watch as your enemies you fell!

Show me your palm, young child.

What will I see?

Reading the lines is easy for me!

**************************************************************************

Gemma’s battle by Alicia

Mirror, mirror, floating in mid air,

tell me the future, or do I dare?

Imagine yourself in a tunnel so dark.

You can feel the blackness nipping like a shark.

Mirror, mirror, floating in mid air,

tell me the future or do I dare?

Are you ready for your big fight?

Will you win or see the light?

Mirror, mirror, floating in mid air.

tell me the future or do I dare?

You have come so far right from the start,

one small hero with one big heart.

******************

We also looked at other ways of writing a story related to our theme of Heroes. These three pieces were written by boys and girls in Class U2Mc. They are story starters using the stimulus of an ordinary youngster who gets two superpowers. One is flight. The other is a power of the protagonist’s  (main character’s) own choosing.

Becoming a Supergirl

by Abbie F

I was sitting on the beach when my little nephew offered me a bottle of water. I thought it was clean but it was sea water. When I drink it, it changed my whole life forever. My body went cold and whenever I put my face in water it would lift up into the air and I could throw it at things. I stood up and started throwing water and having a great time, but suddenly I fell over.

Before I hit the ground I started floating in the air. My mum came over and stuck her hand out to help me up, but when I went to take her hand I flew up into the sky and went flying all over the beach. Everyone thought it was crazy!

Becoming a supervillain

by Alan

I was just an ordinary kid until the legend began and changed my life forever. It was midnight when I saw a shooting star or a meteorite in the sky. It crashed just four metres from my house, setting flowers on fire and leaving a big hole in the park.

All of a sudden a fire spark landed on my skin. I freaked out. It was burning my skin, but it didn’t hurt. I fell off the balcony, crying: “Woah, no, no!” Before cracking my skull- splat- on the ground I was levitating. Hey? What? No! It can’t be? I was flying about ten centimetres from the ground.

“How is it possible?” I wondered.

Then all of a sudden I snapped my fingers and then I cried: “Ah, I’m on fire!”

But it felt like I could control it.

Becoming a supergirl

by Amy B

I was just an ordinary kid until that day. It was the crack of dawn. I looked out of the window at the sun. It was out.

“It can’t be. It can’t be.”

It was winter. The sun couldn’t be out this early. I ran out of my house and I could look directly at the sun without my eyes hurting. It was as bright as normal. Suddenly, before I could walk away, I was zapped by the sun and I was able to make fire with my hands. But how is this possible, I wondered. I realised it must have something to do with the sun. I was walking around, showing off. I was the most popular girl in the school!

But then suddenly I could fly too. Well, I thought the power of fire had made it my lucky day. Two powers were better than one, of course. I was flying across Liverpool, but then SPLAT, I was on the floor. Everybody was laughing at me. I hadn’t got the hang of it yet.

************************************************************************

We then wrote recipes: how to bake a hero cake, using a non-fiction form creatively.

Recipe: how to bake a hero cake

by Kyle

Ingredients:

*a generous helping of courage

*200g of bravery

*a packet of transport

*100% teamwork

*a sprinkle of weapons

Method:

Take the ingredients. Place them in a mixing bowl. Stir thoroughly. Bake in a hot oven for two hours. Take out. Wait to cool.

Fillings and topping:

Garnish with luck. Decorate with good fortune. Fill with magic.

Slogan: Teamwork is the best

**************************************************************************

Recipe: how to bake a hero cake

by Ella

Ingredients:

*a cup of bravery

*heaped teaspoon of strength

*a pinch of weapons

*a jar of love

Method:

Take the ingredients. Place them in a mixing bowl. Stir until doughy and place in the oven for two hours.

Filling:

Fill with good fortune.

Slogan: Never give up.

(names of writers to follow)

*********************************************************************

Midway through the project we held a parent and child workshop in which Mums joined their sons and daughters and wrote the opening of an autobiography. Here are some of the results:

First Laura and Cheryl H.

The hero inside yourself

I never knew what I wanted to do. Apart from being a mum, having a lovely husband and home. Born on 6th July, 1972 in a working class family in Liverpool, my very first memory is of being in a nursery, running to sit on the step for story time. Let me introduce you to the family: Mark, my lovely husband, Laura my chatterbox daughter and Michael my always hungry son.

My first pet was a dog called Perno which my mum brought home from work as a dinner lady. Children in the playground found her walking around the school grounds. Then one bright September day I walked to school. Nervous, I wandered into school, not knowing what to expect. I enjoyed school. Just wish I had been bright!

The hero inside yourself

I was born teaching my mum and dad! Born on June 19th, 2000, I grew up in an old-fashioned house in Liverpool. In nursery there was this mental girl who used to chase me so I hid in the phone box. Then the phone rang and I started to tell it to shut up.

Let me tell you about my family. There’s my mum who’s always telling me to stop running up and down the stairs. my meerkat loving brother who has a toy meerkat called Marvin and my dad who always wakes me up.

My first pet was a goldfish who lasted two weeks. I was crying because the dead fish was scary. Then, one lovely sunny day it happened…I went to school! I tiptoed all the way to school. When I got there I looked back and Mum waved bye. Then I saw Faye from the playgroup. When I saw Faye’s mum I was scared.

*******************************************************************

Craig S and Chris S

The hero inside yourself

I was born with a book on my head.

Yes, I always wanted to be an author. Imagine me, two year old Craig Scully sucking my favourite book!

I was born on the snowiest day, 17th November, 2001. My best and first memory was Sam the dog who kept guarding my pram and Snoopy the cat.

Let me introduce you to my family: dad Mark who works in school as a cook, my mum Chris who works in Manchester and my brother Carl the gamer. Chris my mum calls him a vampire because he goes to sleep at five pm and wakes up at 12 pm.

My first holiday was Centre Parcs (it’s spelt correctly). I went there when I was one and just came back in December and came back like a sea serpent.

Then one windy, rainy September day I ran to school and was freaked out and still am. My first friend was Sam and my first teacher was Mrs Dermot. My first day was probably the best but I don’t like it now!

The hero inside yourself

On a wet, dreary Wednesday I arrived in the world, two weeks late and eager to look around. I was nosey, maybe something to do with my name…Parker. Or maybe this was to show me things to come. Born 21st September, 1966, I grew up in a terraced house in Liverpool, the eldest child of Mr and Mrs Parker.

My very first memory is of sitting in the back of a black taxi with my mum, nan and younger sister, yelling at Dad that his tea was in the oven as we were off to Southport for an impromptu day out. Let me introduce you to the family. Dad is a draughtsman, mum a nurse and my younger sister who’s the most argumentative person ever. Last but not least, Mrs Observant.

Ben was a beautiful black Labrador that came into my life in infant school. A rough tumble bundle of fun that liked getting into trouble. For example he would always find the largest stick in the park and try to bring it home with him, much to our hilarity.

One sunny September day, I walked excitedly to school, holding my mum’s hand. I let go of mum’s hand and walked through the door to be greeted by Miss Tremuen who promptly slapped a sticker to my jumper with my name on it. Miss Tremuen was tall with blonde hair pulled into a tight bun, a plaid skirt and turtle neck sweater. Funny, she always wore the same things. I enjoyed my first day. However things were to change when Miss Tremuen realized I was left-handed.

*****************************************************************

Lyndsey and Sean B

The hero inside yourself

I was the little blonde girl with pink ribbons in my hair. I despised this and wanted to play with a football and toy soldiers.

I was born in 1977 in Liverpool.

Let me tell you about my family. There’s my mum who looks after us all, my dad who works hard and there’s my little sister who always gets her own way.

Our first holiday together we went somewhere in Greece. Me and my sister found a donkey tied up in a field next to our apartments.

My sister, who by the way I call Dr Dolittle as she loves animals, decided to take things to feed it.

One sunny day in September I skipped happily through the big green gates into school. My class seemed huge and my sunny day seemed to cloud over as the teacher Mrs McCormack sat me next to a smelly boy with dirty fingernails. It just got worse from then on.

The hero inside yourself

I grew up kicking a football. I always wanted to be a footballer. I was born on the 29th of March, 2001. My family is a nice family.

Our next task was to describe a final, epic battle.

Final stand. Battle

By Enes

Jerald turned his eyes over the fifty thousand strong dark rider army, looking angrily. There were also the impossible imps and the demon bears! They were looking ferocious and evil. Jerald’s ten thousand strong army had Jakelys draconic arch fiend returning, spearmen riding oxen and swordsmen with light, shiny and golden shields.

Everyone, including Jerald, Stephanie, govio and the soul of the might Jackely were jumping with excitement to kill each other. The demon boars were stamping destruction, rumbling the eart!

The demon boars loved the sound of earthquakes! Then, next to Jerald, the dragon made a blast of darkness to the swordsman. The swordsman opened his shield but he was too late. He got injured and once the boars stamped destruction the swordsman died.

The fight took an eternity. It felt long but it was actually two days and one hundred seconds. Bodies were then eaten by parasites and eagles once it was over. The demon that had always hated Jerald, the one with the jet black cloak, crept up, rose and shouted out:

“I challenge you to a mortal battle!”

Then he released his arch fiend’s sword.

It said: “Red Nova Fiend.”

“That, my old friend, is my name!” laughed Red Nova Fiend.

He then pulled his bloody cape and released dark powers. The fiend then ran and jumped to make the first strike, but Jerald rolled over and parried his sword, clashing against the arch-fiend’s sword.

The arch fiend then pulled back and attacked very hard so that nothing could stop him, but still Jerald could not handle him. Soon Jerald would get hit!

The sun turned dark. The environment turned still! But then Jerald heard the voice and the feelings of the mighty wizard Jakely. He heard him say: “This is my ultimate casting power band! Please, wise prince, gain all the power you need.”

Jerald felt so brave he was immortal! He stood up and put his hand over the pendant he had round his neck. Jerald then cast magic. Unbelievable. Suddenly, he used the power of the number one spell.

“Power band! This is the power of me and the wizard.”

Then the enemy army crumbled up, scattered blood and fell into a different dimension.

“This is it guys. It’s all over.”

The army cheered with excitement. As they did, they threw Jerald up and down.

“Jerald! Jerald! Jerald!”

Everyone else kept shouting and beating their shields.

**********************************************************************

The final struggle

Leia ran her gaze over the enemy ranks. There were hundreds of dark, mysterious people riding either a giant red scorpion or dark riders with swords that evaporated out of nowhere. Then more thousands of dark riders came out of nowhere. There were even trolls, werewolves and spiders.

The enemy’s crossbows whistled in the wind and just missed Leia. Then they shot another crossbow and it ricocheted and killed Throllin. The battle lasted six more hours. Blood was everywhere. Bodies were piled in the corner and the survivors were badly injured.

Then the King of the demons called, “Albus. I challenge you to mortal combat.”

The sound of their swords clashed. Leia was frightened but she wouldn’t give up. Albus threw a sword but Leia caught it.

“I won’t give up,” Leia shouted proudly.

She got slashed. She then heard Spartacus.

“Come on, you can do it!” he said.

“He is right,” said Leia.

That’s when something great happened. Spartacus gave Leia some powers. Fireballs struck from her fingers then BOOM, Albus died.

Spartacus used one of his magic powers and all the best food you can think of appeared.

*********************************************************************

Finally, we worked towards a climactic ending with the man character reunited with her parents after many years.

A surprise

By Ella

Wagbo rested a hand on Shantell’s shoulder and smiled.

“Prepare yourself,” he chuckled. “There’s a surprise.”

Wagbo took the girl forward. “Walk forward.”

She set off alone down the dark, scary passageway. A hint of light shone through the mysterious passage. Her footsteps echoed. She could see something in the corner of her eye. She decided to investigate.

Then there it was, the huge, steel, crooked door. Blood chilling with excitement, hands trembling, she reached for the emerald key on the wall. The lock screeched. The door opened.

There were two people, a man and a woman. They looked starved. The woman reached out her arms and cried:

“My daughter!”

****************************************************************************

FROM THIS POINT IN THE PROJECT WE CONCENTRATED ON ASPECTS OF POETRY AND NON-FICTION

Choosing a hero

By Faye

Pick a hero.

Let me see,

Who would it have to be?

Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Michael Jordan

And some more.

Closer to home,

Who can I have?

Katie P or Michael J,

Or even my mum and dad.

***************************************************************************

What makes a hero?

By Ellie

Have you ever asked yourself: what make a hero? Most of the time it is somebody courageous or brave, maybe a soldier or a superhero. But are they all like that?

Let’s think of somebody closer to home. For example, there is a nurse. Her job is to care for us, make sure we don’t get too ill, and keep our body healthy and safe. It isn’t always an easy job. Sometimes it’s messy or upsetting. People could get angry or take the wrong medicine.

Let’s choose one more hero, say a police officer. His job is to keep the community safe and arrest unsafe people. It’s not easy. Sometimes they could get caught in fights or riots.

So heroes can be young or old, male of female, tough or not so strong, brave or weak. The most important thing is that they are kind, loving, caring, respectful and amazing in their own way.

********************************************

What makes a hero?

By Christian

Here’s a question. What makes a hero? Normally it’s someone strong, maybe a superhero or a soldier, tough and brave, but are they all the same?

Let’s look for someone in our own neighbourhood. There is a doctor. Their job is to save people and to give people the best place for them. It makes it hard because it is hard to save them and sometimes you only get one go to help them.

Let’s choose one more hero, say a policeman. They have to arrest people and take them into custody.

So heroes can be young or old, male or female, tough or not so strong, brave or weak. The most important thing is that they save people.

*****************************************************************************

You be a hero

By Kieran

Don’t be a zero.

Just be a hero.

All I know is love to save the day.

There has got to be a way.

Walk into danger.

Help any stranger.

All I know is love to save the day.

There has got to be a way.

I don’t know how to die,

But I do know how to fly.

****************************************************************************

Report: our local heroes

By Zoe

What makes a local hero? Is it their courage or their power? Let’s examine the lives of three local heroes.

Our first case study is Brian, the security guard. He was in the Army to begin with. He was also on the buses. His basic training lasted about three days. He told us the job was enjoyable because he can help people and keep them safe.

Our second local hero was Peter, a firefighter. One of the first things he told us was that when people are stuck in bars or trapped they cut them free. One of the other things he told us that you could feel your ear lobes melt in the fire because it is so hot. Finally, he told us that he doesn’t just help people in fires, he also keeps them safe.

Our third and last local hero was Phil, the police officer. Police have two phones, a normal phone and a radio phone. Another thing police use is sniffer dogs and they are very important because they sniff out bombs, drugs and bodies that may be buried if they were in a place and it collapsed.

In summary, after hearing our three local heroes’ stories, it is not just about courage, but being helpful and professional.

*****************************************************************************

Report: our local heroes

By Billy

What makes a local hero? Is it their power or strength? Let’s explore the lives of three local heroes.

The first story we will hear is that of Brian. He was in the Army in the past. He was also on the buses. His basic training as a security guard was three days. He told us the job is rewarding because he can help people and keep them safe.

Our second local hero was Peter, a firefighter. To begin with, he said he helps victims in crashes, also accidents. Furthermore, he said you can feel your ear lobes melt in fire. Finally, in addition, he mentioned that he cuts people free from obstacles or vehicles.

Our third and last local hero was Phil the police officer. He has two phones, a normal phone and a radio phone and police officers go undercover to catch people that aren’t expecting it.

In summary, after hearing our three local heroes’ stories, it is not just about courage, but being helpful and professional.
*****************************************************************************

Diary of a superhero

By Lois

Monday,

Caught in a spider web.

Tuesday,

Six legs growing out of my cheeks

And two legs growing out of my ears.

Wednesday,

Got good at climbing.

Thursday,

Evil Statue of Liberty takes over Liverpool.

Friday,

Got challenged by evil.

Saturday,

Changed the Statue of Liberty

To a normal little girl.

Sunday,

Chilled and got shampoo

And conditioner,

Got in the bath

And washed my hairy legs.

**************************************************************************

Diary of a superhero by Paul

Monday,

Found a magic gem.

Tuesday,

Skin turning blue.

Wednesday,

Flying over Liverpool.

Thursday,

Rhino Man attacks Liverpool.

Friday,

Got ready to save the planet.

Saturday,

Threw them into space.

Sunday,

Watched myself save the world.

35 thoughts on “Writing at Broadgreen Primary School, Liverpool

  1. Brilliant writing all of you. I hope that you are proud and I look forward to reading all your completed stories!
    Well done and thank you to Alan and your teachers for supporting you and bringing our your talents!

  2. There was a glitsch Ella. They should be back up soon. I have got my technical guy on it.
    Alan Gibbons

  3. Ella, the stories are back up. I will post the latest ones soon.
    Sorry for the glitsch.

  4. Hi Alan,
    I hope your trip to Borneo is going well.
    Last year, the parents of one of the children in my class were kind enough to give us a £50 book voucher when he left. We have decided to spend this on some of your books. Please can you recommend 7or 8 books suitable for year 5/6 children in a range of genres.
    Many thanks,
    Julie.

  5. Well done to you all! I’ve enjoyed reading your stories but then, I know from our Big Writing sessions that we have magnificent storytellers here at Broadgreen! Looking forward to our next Big Writing theme…any ideas U2JMc?

  6. IDK what to say, Alan, thank you! XD DX
    Twin
    Smiley
    Attack
    P.S: It won’t matter if my story isn’t up there. Its only a story you know…
    P.P.S: The stunning descriptions we use always help out in hard paragraphs.


  7. kyle:

    ok alan he has been doing good things with ourshes number 1 i want to work with alan every year


    kyle:

    ok alan he has been doing good things with urshes number 1 i want to work with alan every year

  8. Thanks Chelsea,
    I thought the kids were pretty cool too. The teachers weren’t bad either.
    Write on!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *